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GREAT SEXPECTATIONS
Men are so calculative. A recent discussion about their favourite activity (sex, not fishing) revealed that not only do they make mental notes on the amount of times she calls before qualifying as a stalker (unless she’s his mother or wife), they also tally the sexual ratings. Trust a retired playboy to afford us with such wise insights. This may not come as a surprise to you, but this might: whatever you think your score last night was, divided it into half. This doesn’t just apply to the women, it goes both ways—so if you thought your man was a Casanova both in and out of bed, you’re about to be enlightened.
Apparently you should double that for previous lovers in order to get their real ratings. Due to emotional what-nots, your current lover has the upper hand because of the passion that’s subconsciously added to their performance appraisal, which previous lovers have had subtracted from theirs.
If your current lover’s weighin still trumps previous ones, you’re one of the lucky few. But what if your current man has just one more box on your list to tick off—‘mindblowing sex’? Some friends have complained of their man not being big enough, or are not experienced enough compared to previous lovers, which leaves them unsatisfied (grounds for doubts about the future). I say the poor boy doesn’t know how to use his tool properly—so help him.
If you’ve had better and would like more of a good thing, tell or show him, but for goodness sake, don’t just lie there counting the ceiling cracks or fantasising about another whilst telling him he’s doing great. Why is it that women are so scared they might bruise a man’s ego by telling him what to do when he’s naked? From what I’ve discovered, between the sheets is the only place men don’t mind being told what to do—it’s driving force behind every cougar’s triumph: experience.
Encourage him when he’s doing things right when it comes to kissing and sex—or even better, tell him how you like it. Another way to do this would be by role playing. Assume an authoritative figure like a teacher or a driving instructor—guide him to work that stick right (pun intended). After all, I’m sure he’d like to know the placement of bodyparts on the female anatomy—and our erogenous zones.